I hate your stupid fucking Honda, Chad: A Love Story
Last Sunday I stole your car. You were in the apartment, staring slack-jawed at some boring bullshit tv show, so I left. I wasn’t surprised that you didn’t notice I was gone, and I wasn’t surprised when the first thing you asked me upon returning was ‘where is my car?’
I sold your car, Chad. I sold your car for some magic beans, and I’m so happy about it I’m jigging all around. I know you’re mad baby, I know you loved that Honda. I know you loved that Honda more than me, probably.
But look! I planted the beans! Just look at this beanstalk! It’s so big, and thick, and tall. Just like you baby. And, I mean, we all know how this story goes right? You’re gonna climb up that beanstalk, and find unimaginable riches! You’ll be able to get a new Honda, maybe even a Honda SUV like you’ve always wanted. Yes, a nice, new SUV that you can drive to and from work everyday. All you have to do is climb the beanstalk.
Wow! You’re such a great climber Chad! That’s it, keep going. You’re gonna get such good stuff. You’re gonna get all the things that make you happy. Climb faster!
Oh hey. I forgot to tell you. I didn’t just get beans for the Honda, babe. I also got this sweet axe. I hope you found something up there. I hope you got to the top, because we both know a fall from that height would definitely kill you. Anyways, remember how you always laughed at me for walking everywhere? Well, I met someone walking. He’s really cool, and we’ve bought some bikes. Goodbye, Chad. I never really loved you, and I hated your fucking Honda.
“Whatever your eye falls on - for it will fall on what you love - will lead you to the questions of your life, the questions that are incumbent upon you to answer, because that is how the mind works in concert with the eye. The things of this world draw us where we need to go.”—Mary Rose O’Reilley (Via)
“It’s a cliché to state that one should think like a child, but it’s clear that kids know something that the world tries to make you unlearn later in life. There’s so many strategies people use to try to get that something back, and most of them don’t work. It’s hard to stay positive when there’s a lot of evil in the world. Life is hard, you’re tired, and there’s disease. The strategy that works for children is to be delighted by the things that delight you.”—John Darnielle (via likeapairofbottlerockets)
“The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homosexual is not heterosexual, the enemy of Jew is not Arab, the enemy of youth is not the old, the enemy of hip is not redneck, the enemy of Chicano is not gringo and the enemy of women is not men.
We all have the same enemy.
The enemy is the tyranny of the dull mind.
The enemy is every expert who practices technocratic manipulation, the enemy is every proponent of standardization and the enemy is every victim who is so dull and lazy and weak as to allow himself to be manipulated and standardized.”
― Tom Robbins
“The only relationship that can make both partners happy is one in which sentimentality has no place and neither partner makes any claim on the life and freedom of the other.”—The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera (via untitled-mag)